So here I am hooked up to my oxygen, signed onto internet and able to send a thoughtful blog about life. When we booked this trip back in February I said to everyone, I may not be able to go, so be prepared. I NEVER book that far in advance. As any seasoned CF’er knows, your life can be ripped apart from a simple cold. I am knocking on big wood right now being grateful that I did not get sick. It was a wicked cold that was going around these last few months and it would have killed me-not to be dramatic. As I am typing this, there is some ass hat in front of me coughing into the recycled air. I keep telling myself- don’t tough your face, don’t touch your face. Anyways, I digress.
While we were waiting to check in, go through security and then immigration I was pleasantly surprised how well treated I was with having to use my oxygen and it being visible to the world to see. Everyone was very sympathetic and helpful. In fact I forgot my 2 batteries that had to go through X-ray after my other luggage and had a lady contact US immigration to let them know she was coming with my batteries. That could have been a disaster as well as losing $600 in batteries. The angels were eloping today. I was front of the line for all of it, even though I cringe having to use it in public. But I am not dead so thats the upside.
I was thinking about my life at this point and wondering where will I be next year? Will I still be hanging in? Will I be waiting for new lungs? Will I have new lungs? Might I die? Its such a roulette wheel, this life of mine. As much as I hate leaving my fur baby at home and all the work it takes to get me on a plane, I am very grateful to still be able to travel. Travelling makes you appreciate what you have, how awesome your home life is and opens your eyes to amazing new experiences. I am a homebody at heart. I am jealous when people are going on all these cool holidays and then I think- nah- I’m good. As I get sicker,things become harder. Everything about a trip is a challenge. I worry about walking around, trudging in sand, not being able to carry much, long hikes to find a bathroom, stairs, ramps, any physical obstacle that will literally take my breath away. Its not like I am towing my $4000 personal oxygen concentrator along a beach. I worry if this is going to be a “hard” vacation, one that makes me wish I was home. Alas I have to trust that I have worked hard to keep myself healthy and that it WILL be a great vacation. Sitting at sea level actually does give me some relief.
So I shall sign off and disinfect my area again in this Petrie dish called an airplane. LOL