Can a Funeral be Bad?

I went to celebrate the life of my friend “Charlotte” (I don’t want to use her real name for respect to her family who may not be thrilled with my critique of her funeral). She died ultimately due to being born with Cystic Fibrosis but it was the chronic rejection of the lungs she had had for 10 years that took her life. She was a Tom boy, a beautiful soul, a lover of sports and all things Dallas Cowboys. She loved beer. She loved her nieces and nephew more than herself. She had an amazingly close relationship with her mom and dad. She would literally give you the shirt off her back if you needed it. Her funeral service shared only a bit of that. Her service was captained by the funeral director, I think? He was a reverend of some faith I think? He actually didn’t introduce himself. “Charlotte” was not a church goer or even really talked about her faith so I was kind of surprised that there was so much God and prayer in her service/sermon. Maybe it was designed more for her family. This Revered did NOT know “Charlotte” but he spoke for over 45 minutes about her. I found this troubling. I know “Charlotte” was rolling her eyes. 30 of the 45 minutes he spent talking about Psalm 23, you know the one about I will walk through the valley of death and will not fear blah blah…It was absolutely terrible, the length of time he spent on it not the psalm itself. He tried to share in our grief as if he knew her- which he did NOT! It was unsettling. He could have been a Walmart greeter for all I cared to hear from him. 3 members of her circle spoke briefly and it was ok and then we watched a slide show for 15 minutes. This made me jot down a note to self: make my own slideshow so I can pick out some great pictures and have it play to MY favourite music. I digress. I wish that the service just celebrated her awesomeness by listening to countless stories of all the funny memories we had of her. I know for a fact she would have hated that service. The reception after was nothing like her. it was bordering on boring and stiff. She would have wanted a bar full of shots and a pile of nachos to share among us all. She would have preferred a party in a pub with everyone holding up a glass of beer to her honour. I feel like I need to go and do that for her. So ultimately can I say it was a bad funeral? I think so. I was sad and angry at the same time. It felt nothing like “Charlotte”. I now plan on planning my own funeral because I do not want a service that resembles nothing of my soul and spirit. “Charlotte” was a fierce lover of life and this service resembled that of a deflated balloon a few weeks after a great party. I’m sorry “Charlotte”. I love you and I will be heading to the pub in the next couple of days to celebrate YOU! Enjoy Heaven.


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